How Chick Flicks Have Ruined Our Brains

GIRLS - This post is mostly for you, but we won’t stop the guys from reading!

Chick flicks get girls all caught up in the idea that love needs to be this perfect moment, complete with fireworks, swelling music and a foot-popping first kiss. We begin to believe that our relationships should live up to every girly movie that we have ever watched.

So, what is it about the chick flick that is so appealing? Ok, I know the answer: romance - to be swept off your feet, to feel special, wanted and undeniably sure that a man loves you. These are all real desires of a woman’s heart, but they have been distorted and tainted by chick flicks!

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a hard-hearted girl who is bitter at the idea of a man sweeping me off my feet. I want to hear that I am loved and appreciated. Those things are important – the emotions, the affirmations, but they are so much more meaningful in a relationship based on real feelings, with someone who loves you for the real you, with full knowledge of your talents, faults and quirks.

The following is a list of unrealistic chick flick musts that have ruined the way we interact with guys:

• Meet Cute - The perfectly crafted meeting of two characters. This is not to say that the meeting is always pleasant – it could be an awkward situation, a life-saving moment, a fiery argument or the perfect matchup of wit – but whatever the case may be, the meeting is always entertaining, intriguing and suspenseful.
  
  Real Relationships - It’s because of moments like this that we are constantly on the look out for the guy who has the perfectly charming thing to say, that would save our lives from a rolling dumpster or be able to take on our saucy wit. We often miss out on great friendships with guys or even a potentially great boyfriend because we are looking for a cinematically magical moment. Relax and have fun with new people, try not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself or the people you meet.
  
  
• The Perfect Character – Chick flicks deal with character extremes, perfectly beautiful, outrageously awful, candidly charming. These fictitiously fabulous characters provide the perfect ground for an entertaining story.
  
  Real Character - We need to remember not to compare ourselves, or the guys in our lives to these characters, we cannot live up the image of a perfect woman who has a team of make-up artists and he cannot live up to the guy who gets 12 chances to say the line that someone else thoughtfully wrote out. We can seek to have truly admirable character, to have the attributes that are desirable in a Godly woman. To be marked by joy, patience and gentleness.. among the other fruits of the spirit. :)
  
  
• The Physical Attraction – No matter what chick flick you watch, there is always that heightened awareness of the physical chemistry between two characters. The glance across the room, the touch of their hands, the prolonged embrace or the perfect kiss under the night sky while the rain falls softly.
  
  Perfect Chemistry - Movie makers are quite skilled at convincing us of this chemistry between couples on the big screen, but that doesn’t mean that every touch from every guy in our lives is secret code for “I am madly in love with you”. We need to recognize that physical touch is part of the way we are made as humans.
  
  We need to remember that there is more to affection and relationships than the physical. I am reminded of the song Perfect Chemistry by Nevertheless, that says, "I may not be her perfect chemistry, But, if I can love her like you do, that's all she needs.” How much more thoroughly would we love each other if we could learn to love through the eyes of Christ.
  
  
  
  
• The Big Gesture – At the end of every chick flick there is the big gesture: one of the characters makes a horrible mistake, realizes how wrong they were and comes back, ready to make the big gesture, the grand demonstration of their undying love.
  
  A Lifelong Commitment - I think the idea of a big gesture effects us more when we get into long term relationships, we keep waiting for the great declaration of love, the perfectly formed speech, the amazing eloquent words that melt us to our core. GIRLS: Not every guy is gifted with a team of hollywood writers, we need to understand the fact that guys each have their strengths and weaknesses, and we need to be supportive and love them for who they are.
  
  We should be looking for the guy who is ready to make that long journey with us, understand that anyone, given the right amount of time and perhaps the help from a few friends, could craft the perfect speech that would melt your heart, but not every man is ready to say that he will stand next to you through the hardest moments in your life and the most joyful moments in your life.
  
  
• The Two-Hour Deadline – No matter what, every chick flick has resolution by the time the credits roll. We sit and watch a couple go from complete strangers to desperately in love in less than 120 minutes!
  
  A God Beyond Timelines - God does not work in two-hour deadlines. He understand better than we ever will where we need to be and when. He places people, circumstances and challenges in our lives exactly as he plans to and that includes our futures, with or without a movie-worthy relationship. 

Ultimately, we need to remember that our worth is not based on the approval of another man or having a story that could be told as a movie. These are just a few ways that chick flicks have ruined our brains, but recognizing where we have let these ideas creep into our minds is really important.

Women, hold on the fact that you have an Abba Father who knows the desires of your heart and is seeking that you first have an amazing love story with Him, the God who gave up His life so that you might live together for the rest of eternity, now there is a story of true love.

The GBS Phenomenon

GBS or Googaly Brain Syndrome is popular among women of all ages, but particularly prevalent in single women. It is the direct result of a variety of situations that are exciting, confusing or out of her control, always in association with an OIM (Obviously Interested Man).


The condition progressively reduces the effectiveness of the subjects ability to think straight. GBS is a pandemic, it has affected thousands of women all over the world.


SYMPTOMS OF GBS:

• The OIM Name Drop - This is an early sign of GBS. The OIM name drop is a sign that the subjects brain has been infiltrated by the OIM. Spotting this early might help in controlling the effects of GBS.
  
• Uncontrollable Smiling & Giggling - In many cases the subject is unable to control their smiling reflexes, any hint of the OIM and the subject will smile without reason for an extended period of time. The subject might also be prone to frequent fits of giggling, this could be sparked by almost anything that reminds them of the OIM.
  
• Communication Attachment - You might find that the subject of GBS is very attached to their cell phone or computer, this is because they are hoping to receive communication from the OIM. A popular display of communication attachment is seen in the Text and Smile - where communication attachment and the uncontrollable smiling are combined together.
  
• The Fetal Position or Buried Head - You might notice that when the subject is confronted on the matter of the OIM, a popular response might be to curl up in a ball or bury their head into something, like a pillow, although this response has little to no effect on the GBS, it does tend to comfort the subject.

CAUSES OF GBS:

• OIM (Obviously Interested Man)- OIM are the primary cause of GBS, the signs of OIM include but are not limited to: Frequent visits, excessively calling, gift giving, copious flattery, offering to drive, offering to cook, going out of his way to see you, volunteering to watch chick flicks, extended eye contact, back rubs, cuddling, hand-holding, and in very rare cases kissing.
  
• AGM (Amy Grant Man)- Called the AGM because like the 1988 Amy Grant Album, they tend to "Lead Me On". AGM are particularly dangerous because they will often exhibit many of the signs shown by OIM without being actually interested in the subject. Problems arise when the subject suffers from GBS while the subject is interacting with the AGM. The results usually end in disappointment, over-analyzation and ultimately broken heart.

KNOWN CURES FOR GBS:

• Teasing - Teasing is best when exhibited from the close friends and family of the subject. Teasing will result in uncontrollable smiling, the fetal position and buried head. Beware of overuse of teasing as it may cause the subject's GBS to become more severe.
  
• DTR (Define the Relationship)- Defining the relationship is best when executed by the OIM. This helps maintain the normal patterns of pursuit. The Define the Relationship talk usually results in the mutual tellings of feelings. This is a cure for GBS because the subject no longer has to live in confusion about the meaning of all the signs of the OIM, but now knows from the source that her suspicions are correct.

SUMMARY:
Not all women suffer from GBS to same severity. Please check with a doctor before using any real medications in association with GBS.


Women suffering from GBS should consult with a trusted friend or confidant who can help verify the existence of a OIM versus an AGM.

A recent midnight encounter.

After my roommates and I found some of these on our deck, we decided to do some research to see how we could make them live. Turns out we probably won't do anything and be masochistic fish killers. Mind you - we found these fish at midnight on our deck encased in a tall large clear tube about 5 inches in width. This large tube was a giant light that shot up spinning bubbles from the bottom. So basically we had a really awesome light with a lot of dizzy smoothie drunk fish.

What kind of fish you ask? Feeder Guppies. And this is what we learned:

"The males are absolutely horrible fish. They will chase around the females 24 hours a day. They will move from female to female and chase them around. The females will swim around in circles trying to get rid of the males. Fancy guppies do not do this as much as feeder guppies. The male feeder guppies are absolutely obsessed with the female guppies. They will even stress them out until they become weak and die from an illness. The males are also very fast and they will steal all the food as well."

The response of an unnamed roommate: "Why am I not suprised?"
I believe at that point we all said, amen.

To all of you good intentioned men, who only mean well, I'm sorry that all the cruel unthoughtful boys have cast such a horrible light on your gender. We do realize there ARE men out there who are NOT feeder guppies.