Monday, January 3, 2011

Defaulting to Hope

One of the many times my very good friend was gushing and bragging about her beau to me :) she told me that one of the things she most loves and values about him is that "he defaults to hope." That statement has stuck with me since she said it almost two years ago. The more I've thought about it, the more important it's become to me too.

“Defaulting to hope” doesn’t mean always having an enthusiastic smile plastered on your face, convincing yourself to be cheerful all the time. As I’ve been working it out in myself, I understand it to mean that we will never have full control over our own circumstances, BUT each of us is entirely responsible for our own reactions to everything. Get out from under the assumption that you can hold on to a cranky attitude because of someone who wronged you, or because traffic made you late to work this morning, or because of something that happened deep in your past.

Dear Future Husband, I hope and pray that you are not (and will never become) the kind of man who always finds something to complain about and focuses on the negative, because I really can't handle hearing about it all the time. Now don't get me wrong; Everyone needs an outlet to vent every once in a while, and I very much want to understand your world and the things that are bothering you!! It's just that I don’t want to see you get bent out of shape every time something doesn’t turn out the way you planned. One of my favorite quotes to live by (which I'm not sure anyone but my sister will even recognize!) is this:

"Life is full of plans - about half of them get changed. If you get all bent outta shape every time your plans get changed, you'll spend half your life bent outta shape!"

My dear Future Husband, I would much rather grow old with you knowing that you will be hopeful in all things, still counting your blessings when crummy circumstances happen, and ever looking forward to the good things to come. I want the old man lines in your face to be from laughing and smiling, rather than scowling and pouting :)

This applies to all readers: The true challenge of defaulting to hope is to take stock of what you’ve been given, and run with it. If you are living with childhood scars, then you need to become aware of false assumptions you’ve been living under, and change your mindset. Make the most of your circumstances. You absolutely must have an awareness of how much you let negative circumstances shape who you are by how you react! If you know Jesus Christ and you know the words of scripture, you know that this life is not going to be easy, but you have a reason to hope for the abounding life he has promised!

I understand it’s a tall order, but I know it exists because I’ve seen it in enough other people. And I’ve got a bit of hope too :)

My most very favorite music artist Sleeping At Last just released a very fitting song this New Year’s Day that I would really like to accompany this post! Here are the lyrics:

January White
So let's press undo; rearrange the old and call it new-
January white

Every calendar is playing the same old trick:
A year will disappear, replaced with counterfeit
But we'll never really mind

Cause if nothing else, we're given a little time to change the game
A chance to redefine everything we are
In our January white

This year is a sealed envelope; a culmination of hopes
The lottery result that we've been crossing our fingers for

We could paint our walls a lighter shade of blue
Or we could pack our bags and change the entire view
To January white

If nothing else we're given a little time
To change the heart in which we change our minds
Our hourglasses turn

This year is a sealed envelope;
With apprehensive hope, we brace for anything.
I swear, I understand that nothing changes that,
The past will be the past,
But the future is brighter than any flashback.

Well, we could let our guards down a little easier this time,
We could trust that when there's joy, there's nothing dark behind.
In spite of history,
Hope is January white.

This year, we're starting over again
Letter openers in hand, a chance to take a chance.
I swear, I understand that the past will be the past,
And nothing changes that,
But the future is brighter than any flashback





...But I’m not done yet!!

While we are still talking about hope, my church just did a message on Christmas Eve titled “HOPE: A Weary World Rejoices.”

I’m telling you, if you are a human being, you gotta hear this message.

Very simple, honest teaching, with some touching and humorous anecdotes. I hope you can enjoy and get out of it at least as much as I did!

Future Husbands out there, there's a fantastically inspiring story in there that I think you will find very encouraging - go check it out!

Click here to watch "HOPE: A Weary World Rejoices."
(Please don’t skip over the music to get to the message part - I especially want you to see the opening song at the beginning, and the song at 18:30!)

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