How Chick Flicks Have Ruined Our Brains

GIRLS - This post is mostly for you, but we won’t stop the guys from reading!

Chick flicks get girls all caught up in the idea that love needs to be this perfect moment, complete with fireworks, swelling music and a foot-popping first kiss. We begin to believe that our relationships should live up to every girly movie that we have ever watched.

So, what is it about the chick flick that is so appealing? Ok, I know the answer: romance - to be swept off your feet, to feel special, wanted and undeniably sure that a man loves you. These are all real desires of a woman’s heart, but they have been distorted and tainted by chick flicks!

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a hard-hearted girl who is bitter at the idea of a man sweeping me off my feet. I want to hear that I am loved and appreciated. Those things are important – the emotions, the affirmations, but they are so much more meaningful in a relationship based on real feelings, with someone who loves you for the real you, with full knowledge of your talents, faults and quirks.

The following is a list of unrealistic chick flick musts that have ruined the way we interact with guys:

• Meet Cute - The perfectly crafted meeting of two characters. This is not to say that the meeting is always pleasant – it could be an awkward situation, a life-saving moment, a fiery argument or the perfect matchup of wit – but whatever the case may be, the meeting is always entertaining, intriguing and suspenseful.
  
  Real Relationships - It’s because of moments like this that we are constantly on the look out for the guy who has the perfectly charming thing to say, that would save our lives from a rolling dumpster or be able to take on our saucy wit. We often miss out on great friendships with guys or even a potentially great boyfriend because we are looking for a cinematically magical moment. Relax and have fun with new people, try not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself or the people you meet.
  
  
• The Perfect Character – Chick flicks deal with character extremes, perfectly beautiful, outrageously awful, candidly charming. These fictitiously fabulous characters provide the perfect ground for an entertaining story.
  
  Real Character - We need to remember not to compare ourselves, or the guys in our lives to these characters, we cannot live up the image of a perfect woman who has a team of make-up artists and he cannot live up to the guy who gets 12 chances to say the line that someone else thoughtfully wrote out. We can seek to have truly admirable character, to have the attributes that are desirable in a Godly woman. To be marked by joy, patience and gentleness.. among the other fruits of the spirit. :)
  
  
• The Physical Attraction – No matter what chick flick you watch, there is always that heightened awareness of the physical chemistry between two characters. The glance across the room, the touch of their hands, the prolonged embrace or the perfect kiss under the night sky while the rain falls softly.
  
  Perfect Chemistry - Movie makers are quite skilled at convincing us of this chemistry between couples on the big screen, but that doesn’t mean that every touch from every guy in our lives is secret code for “I am madly in love with you”. We need to recognize that physical touch is part of the way we are made as humans.
  
  We need to remember that there is more to affection and relationships than the physical. I am reminded of the song Perfect Chemistry by Nevertheless, that says, "I may not be her perfect chemistry, But, if I can love her like you do, that's all she needs.” How much more thoroughly would we love each other if we could learn to love through the eyes of Christ.
  
  
  
  
• The Big Gesture – At the end of every chick flick there is the big gesture: one of the characters makes a horrible mistake, realizes how wrong they were and comes back, ready to make the big gesture, the grand demonstration of their undying love.
  
  A Lifelong Commitment - I think the idea of a big gesture effects us more when we get into long term relationships, we keep waiting for the great declaration of love, the perfectly formed speech, the amazing eloquent words that melt us to our core. GIRLS: Not every guy is gifted with a team of hollywood writers, we need to understand the fact that guys each have their strengths and weaknesses, and we need to be supportive and love them for who they are.
  
  We should be looking for the guy who is ready to make that long journey with us, understand that anyone, given the right amount of time and perhaps the help from a few friends, could craft the perfect speech that would melt your heart, but not every man is ready to say that he will stand next to you through the hardest moments in your life and the most joyful moments in your life.
  
  
• The Two-Hour Deadline – No matter what, every chick flick has resolution by the time the credits roll. We sit and watch a couple go from complete strangers to desperately in love in less than 120 minutes!
  
  A God Beyond Timelines - God does not work in two-hour deadlines. He understand better than we ever will where we need to be and when. He places people, circumstances and challenges in our lives exactly as he plans to and that includes our futures, with or without a movie-worthy relationship. 

Ultimately, we need to remember that our worth is not based on the approval of another man or having a story that could be told as a movie. These are just a few ways that chick flicks have ruined our brains, but recognizing where we have let these ideas creep into our minds is really important.

Women, hold on the fact that you have an Abba Father who knows the desires of your heart and is seeking that you first have an amazing love story with Him, the God who gave up His life so that you might live together for the rest of eternity, now there is a story of true love.

Let's Hear It For The Boy!

It’s easy on a blog like this to fall into a pattern of putting the burden on men, and pointing out negative things that we think need to be changed. With this post, I’d like to go the completely opposite direction, and hopefully encourage some guys out there by pointing out the things we really appreciate about them!

So without further adieu, here are some things we’ve noticed in our own real-life interactions with some of you guys we actually know that have helped us form some very high opinions of you!

• Holding doors - chivalry is not dead!
• Moving heavy stuff for us
• Assembling large items
• Hanging things on walls
• Repairing things in our house
• Fixing car problems
• Averting your eyes during certain scenes in movies (yeah, we notice. And we’re super impressed when we see it. See my expanded thoughts on this here.)
• Offering your sweatshirt/jacket when it's cold - we know it’s huge and we look ridiculous, but it makes us feel cared for!
• Building bonfires (I sure don't know how!)
• Offering to pray for everyone before a meal - we reeeeally like seeing this!
• Cleaning up after meals we’ve cooked! - thankyouthankyouthankyou!
• Listening to what we have to say, asking questions and being truly interested in the answer
• Complimenting us when you think we look nice - we remember, and we’re more likely to do it again! (Lindsay wrote a whole post on why this is important!)
• Including us when you get a group of friends together to do something fun or just chill
• Sticking to your own values to determine how you act, how you respond to difficult situations, what you do or do not let yourself be exposed to - When we’ve learned over time where you stand and what your boundaries are, we know we can trust you and feel and safe around you, knowing you're not going to try anything sketchy!
• Looking out for us when walking around downtown
• Escorting us to our cars when we've parked far away
• Dropping us off at the door before parking when it's cold outside - and when it's time to go home, insisting that we wait inside while you pull the car around - WOW!!!
• Dressing up nice for formal events - y’all look so sharp!
• Recalling details of things we’ve talked about, details about our likes and dislikes, remembering what our favorite things are, and things that make each of us unique
• Hugs. They make us feel small and cute!
• Dancing with us! Yay!!
• Doing/saying goofy things just to make us laugh!

GUYS: If you see yourself in some of these things - THANK YOU for being wonderful! We really appreciate knowing you and having you as friends!

Why don't we vocalise these appreciations all the time? Because it's hard! Lame excuse, I know. But I think it goes both ways, eh? ;)

GIRLS: Let's keep it going! What else do you see and appreciate about your guy friends that we can add to the list??

The Ice Queen Phenomenon

Here’s another long post from me! Guess I have a lot to say about this. I thought of making it a two-parter, but why make you wait for the conclusion?? I trust you can make it through just fine. Here we go...

So, I recently have been following a heated comment thread here.
Check it out if you like, but here my summary: the men say they are reluctant to approach women because they have concluded that all women are either "Ice Queens," or "harpies circling Mr. Unattainable"?!

I would like to address the Ice Queen phenomenon, as I understand it.
My definition of an Ice Queen is a woman who gives the impression of being unfriendly and unreceptive to a man approaching her.

Here are my credentials: I've totally been guilty of being the Ice Queen myself, especially in my younger years. I've never been afraid of stubbornly deflecting anyone I felt uneasy about. Then again, at that time I was painfully shy and unhealthily afraid of pretty much everyone. *sigh*

It wasn't that I disliked people. Rather, I lived under the belief that everyone automatically disliked me, for some reason I was blind to. You could easily say I had an inferiority complex. I really wanted to be friends with people, but my biggest fear was of being an annoyance to anyone, so I tried to stay out of everyone's way, would never voice an opposing opinion, and kept from doing anything that might draw attention. My "reasoning" was that people who actually wanted to be friends would naturally make the first move to get to know me. (Although if anyone ever actually did, I was usually suspicious of their motives until I knew enough about them to trust them! Brilliant, right?)

So thus, I had a very difficult time making friends, and was never taught how to act around boys or how to attract any positive attention. Or any attention at all.

Girls, if you’re thinking "that's totally me right now!" ...know that it will do a VERY good job of keeping you out of trouble with boys. ...Aaannnnd that's about all it's good for. It does not help you become a well-adjusted human being, or help you form deep, meaningful friendships, or do well in job interviews, et cetera. It's hard to get out of, but with a lot of willpower, time, practice, surrounding yourself with good people and learning to experience true freedom in Christ, you don't have to be trapped in your head like that anymore. You have to really want to change. But it’s possible. (Exhibit A, right here! Let’s talk!)

I don't share these things about myself to ask for sympathy (empathy? pity?) but to hopefully put words to what others are experiencing and therefore expose to the light what happens in the darkness of many minds. And for this post, to shed some light on the Ice Queen phenomenon, because I've been there, and I know I am still very capable of it.

I understand there are many other different ways the Ice Queen can manifest herself. But I think most men have a poor understanding of what this woman is actually thinking.

Guys, the Ice Queen phenomenon is a self-defense tactic. Assuming the woman in question is single, here are some common situations. We either:

• A) rightfully think you’re a creeper, or see something glaringly obvious that is sending up red flags, so we intentionally keep our distance. This category generally is reserved for those of you who proudly identify yourselves as “playas,” or otherwise lead a lifestyle that is contrary to our morals and values. Or that could land you in prison. ...Or, we...
• B) wrongfully think you're a creeper - at which point (after re-evaluating how you come across to others) you may have to get creative to prove us wrong, because we love a good legitimate pursuit!! ...or...
• C) You're likely a fantastic guy deep down but we can't see it because something in your behavior is awkward, annoying, pushy, unhygienic, or comes across in some other unpleasant manner that is standing in the way, and we can't bring ourselves to speak so bluntly to you... so we resort to avoidance. If you're getting this vibe a lot, you miiiiight want to ask some wise person (of the same gender) to be painfully honest to help you figure out what you need to fix. If you can identify yourself as this type of guy, please learn some social skills. I don’t say that to be mean - I say it as someone who's been there, to challenge you to observe how other people interact and compare it to your own interactions, read up on personality types, take psychology or communication classes, and/or read helpful articles online such as this: (Don't Be That Guy), along with all the others on this fantastic website called the Art of Manliness! ...oooorrrr...
• D) we're having a bad day. Now here is a challenging opportunity for you! Most of us women love venting, although we probably need to be convinced that you care enough to listen, and that you aren’t guy “A” or “C” in this list. If you approach carefully, and can exercise the art of drawing us out without pushing for more than we feel comfortable sharing, this can result in a win-win situation! ...OR...
• E) we're actually very interested, but don't want to appear too "forward" (perish the thought he might think I’m interested even though I am! *gasp*) so we err on the side of acting cold... ugh... (guess who's been guilty of that?) (yeah that'd be me.) ...or...
• F) we're just clueless, and we're so used to being on the defensive that we just default to unwittingly acting icy around all men. We honestly think our behavior is normal and expected of us. We're sorry!! ...OOOORRRRR...
• G) it really might be you making things up in your perception of a woman’s behavior. Perhaps you are just clueless yourself. She’s probably agonizing herself right now, wondering why you won’t ask her out, despite her trying to coyly get your attention for months!

So, looking at this bulleted list mathematically, if you think you're facing an Ice Queen, you still have a 78.6% chance in your favor (I counted point C as half) that she might warm up a little to you if you approach carefully and don't get scared away. How's that for scientific reasoning?!

Okay, okay, so these aren't the only reasons a woman would act cold toward a man. Everyone has their own things in life they need to take into account. I just wanted to make known some possible reasons for girls acting icy around guys, and to encourage you guys to not let yourselves be dismissed so quickly by such a woman! :)

Disclaimer - The key is to be observant of the subtle signals she is sending. I recommend you stick around long enough to ask a few questions, bring up a subject of interest you might have in common, get a few sentences out of her. She might just be shy, and would really like you to pry a little bit. In which case, by all means stay and keep talking, and ask questions to draw her out! But if she still seems like she’s trying to end the conversation after everything you say, politely make a clean break, and leave her alone. This could be a sign that you might be “Guy C” from the list above (especially if you observe you seem to be the only guy getting the ice, and she is not acting cold at all toward other guys). Or it could be that she just has issues. Or maybe she is already taken and doesn’t want people to see her without her significant other, talking to someone as devastatingly handsome as you.

And now for an inspirational quote from everyone’s favorite relationship advisor, Hitch! (Full of sweeping generalizations, but still makes some excellent points!):

Basic principles: no woman wakes up saying, ‘I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" ... It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is, "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." But which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone. So that means that 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. ... Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.

The 70's Are Over!

A few hours ago, some of us Andalasians were talking about how we enjoy being sappy and sentimental... but we've been very conflicted throughout our lives about letting that show. And I have the sneaking suspicion that it's not limited to the ladies in this house. I think a lot of women are feeling the same way. We figured it has something to with wanting to appear capable - Proving that our heads aren't always in the clouds, or that our thoughts aren't easily swayed by fleeting emotions. Because that would make us less credible.

We've been raised to believe that we can do anything the boys can do. We hear that we need to get higher degrees, and succeed in competitive careers! Join the army! Become President of the United States! Toughen yourself up, and take it like a man! While you're at it, wear the pants in your relationship, IF you're weak enough to need a man! Heaven forbid you "waste your life" keeping a home, supporting a husband, and raising children!

Darn feminist movement. The 70's are over, people!

Sorry. Tangent.

So basically, culture has been telling us all our lives that we need to shut down the emotional side of our brains in order to be more rational, reasonable, intellectual, and capable, and therefore more competitive and successful. Because it is what we women "must do" these days. It's expected of us.

I've spent most of my life doing a frighteningly good job of internalizing everything I felt. Only in the past several months (my roommates have testified to this) have I really been coming to grips with the idea that trying to hide my emotional side is pretty silly. I don't have to suppress it in order to be an intelligent being. I don't have to be any less "capable" in order to acknowledge my emotions. God gave them to me - they are valuable, and I should embrace them. God himself is an emotional being. Just look - He weeps and rejoices all over the Bible! And He is Love! He cares for the littlest sparrow - you can't even imagine how much more He cares for you, a being made in His image!

And He gave women such an extreme capacity for emotion that was created to complement men! It really is a shame we're compelled to stifle it. Let's stop trying to, shall we, ladies? I can say from experience that life is so much more fulfilling when you take time to fully experience and appreciate the beauty in life. Doing so will not make you any less capable. You don't have to prove anything. :)




On that note, future husband of mine somewhere out there, let it be known that I won't fight you for the sake of proving my capability in most cases... EXCEPT when it comes to hooking up the DVD player to the tv and speakers. I take great joy in connecting audio/visual equipment, and I can do it just fine on my own, thankyouverymuch! he he he...





"If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don't get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room."
- from Luke chapter 11

you don't have to try, you don't have to change, baby you stay just the same.

Has anyone ever had something you really wanted to say about a topic, but couldn't figure out how to put words to it? I've had a nagging at me for a long time about something, and up until recently I couldn't ever describe it. Not until I was reading a book the other night with my lovely housemates and BAM. Finally. Someone with a brain and a half said what I had been feeling. So here it is, on the topic of dating.


"...Now, part of the problem is the creepiness of the dating practices in our western culture. Honestly, most dating is only half a step up from used-car salesmanship. Stay with me here. To put it bluntly but accurately, the idea in western culture dating is to sell yourself. The last thing you want is for the other person to really get to know you. Consequently, a man who doesn't like to shop will suddenly be saying things like, "Sure, honey, I would love to go to another twelve stores to look for those special shoes you have in mind." A woman who doesn't appreciate sports will find herself volunteering to watch sports with her date and his buddies for hour upon endless, grueling hour.


Having seen the other only on their best behavior, the man and woman each convince themselves that they have found a nearly perfect person. As they move toward that day when they will actually begin living together in the world's most comprehensive relationship, they do not factor into their expectations the difficulties of life in this broke-house of a world.


...The problem is that the marriage began with unrealistic expectations."


Now...there are probably several posts I could make about those couple paragraphs. So i'll try to make it brief. First off, I don't want you to ever pretend to be someone you're not just to get to me. There is a VAST difference in sharing each others interests and trying new things because the person you are with enjoys them, and pretending to like things you really don't. Do you see what I'm saying? I would like it if you would at least take a listen to my favorite bands and albums. I would like for you to show me that the things I enjoy are important to you by having a conversation with me about them. But do I expect you to like all those bands, albums, art, dorky hobbies and cleaning? Not at all. It's okay if we have different interests. I remember once having a conversation with my boss and I was concerned about a potential relationship. "But Kori, he's a marathon runner. I HATE running. It wouldn't work out right." I distinctly remember feeling like a moron after she pointed out how silly that was. "Lindsay...you know its better if you have different interests because you both bring more to the relationship, right?" The point is, take interest, but don't change who you are to be my twin. That's just creepy and misleading.


The other part that really struck a chord with me was just a word. Expectations. more specifically, unrealistic expectations. I'm not quite sure what I expect, to be honest. Do I think God will just have a perfect-lindsay-would-dig-him-right-away-and-they-instantly-fall-in-love-and-he's-gorgeous-beyond-reason mold in which he would kindly send to my front step via UPS? Of course I wouldn't admit to thinking that, but when I really think about it I probably have acted like that.


The fact of the matter is that it's important to have expectations. As long as they are the right ones, and by right ones I mean Godly, biblical, healthy ones. If I ever expect to get married, and have a happy fulfilling marriage, I had better drop the silly unnecessary expectations of perfection. If I expect a man to call me his beautiful wife every day of our lives, I had better realize he's saying that with the full knowledge of all my faults, flaws, annoyances, and quirks. And I should be so glad to have and love a handsome husband who is less than perfect as well.

STEPS FOR MAKING A DECISION (particularly in reference to relationships):

1. Figure out what you're deciding between. Take inventory of your options.

2. Pray about it. Be genuine here. It's all well and good to say "Your will be done, Lord," but don't just leave it at that. There should be some conversation too. Vent to your Father. Tell him everything running through your mind, and talk about what you're hung up on. He knows your thoughts, but he wants to hear you say them. ...This trait of God he also instilled in women ;-)

3. Seek wise counsel. Talk to some folks you really trust with outside perspectives. Talk to men who have been married for a long time. Then re-evaluate your options.

4. Consider your gut feeling. It's usually right. Could be the prompting of the Holy Spirit! Repeat Step #2 to make sure...!

5. Make the best choice based on the information you have. Put it into action!



...We find it very attractive when you confidently make a decision and do something about it :)

To the Future Wives

It has come to my attention that a good portion of the readers of DFH are women. I think this is because we, the women, like to know we are not alone in the world, that are other people out there feeling just as confused as we are. I wanted to take the opportunity to address the women, the future wives and tell you a few of the things that I have learned (or am still learning), so…


To The Future Wives:


I know most of you are excited for the day when you will be married, some of you have dreamed of that day and some of you have already picked out your reception location. It's so easy to think about the future, the things to come and the what will be, that sometimes we forget to appreciate the present, to seize the day. So here are a few pieces of advice for the meantime:


FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE
I have heard so many women talk about everything they are not, more than I care to even count, but what about everything that we are? Each of us has something unique to offer, for some of us, that might be more awkwardness than grace or elegance, but that doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. Not every man is looking for the prim and proper, always put together woman who looks like she just stepped out of an advertisement in Martha Stewart magazine. I know I am not looking for the guy who just walked out of a Hollister ad, I am looking for a guy who can appreciate the fact that I love Joss Whedon TV shows, nerdy tshirts, apple products, ultimate frisbee and photography more than I love cleaning.


Somehow we get the idea in our heads that only the perfect girls that will find someone? But who are they? We all make mistakes, we all get zits on our faces, have bad hair days or bad hair years and would probably change something about our physical appearance if it was left up to us.


I know it's cliche and over stated, but the man who truly loves you, will know all of your strengths and all of your weaknesses and he will love you all the same and that is a beautiful thing. Confidence goes along way, knowing who you are will help a man know who you are. If you are awkward, be awkward, if you are clumsy, embrace that. Don't be afraid to sing at the top of your lungs in the car, dance in front of an open window or laugh until you snort, these are all parts of the creativity of God. He didn't form you in your mother's womb, and then go, "Oops! That's not how that was supposed to turn out!"


So in the words of Dolly Parton, "Find out who you are and do it on purpose," because the sooner we can do that, the sooner we can live in the full knowledge that we are created by God and God doesn't make mistakes.


KEEP GROWING
Find ways to continue growing, pursue your passions, find adventure, learn about what interests you. Don't ever think that you life begins or ends with or without a man. This world is full of many wonderful things, places to visit, people to met, food to taste. Don't spend your life waiting for the next stage, embrace the stage you are in. I know this one is harder for some people who aren't naturally inclined to do something like this, so, to get you started here is a list of things you can do, some are free, some are not, but hopefully it will inspire you to do something new.

• Visit a museum
• Try a new ethnic food (I strongly recommend: Ethiopian, Japanese or French)
• Spend a day by a body of water: Lakes, Rivers, Oceans
• Take a road trip
• Read a classic novel
• See a play
• Cook something new
• Go on a photography walk
• Go to the drive-in theater
• Play paintball (it's fun, if you can handle a little pain)
• Go Geocaching (http://www.geocaching.com/)
• Visit a new city
• Grow Something
• Play a sport (personally, I recommend Ultimate Frisbee)
• Join a club - Book club, Bunko League, Bowling League, Bible Study
• Go dancing - If you need a place to go, my roommates can make a few recommendations!
• Take lessons - Guitar, voice, dance, acting
• Write a song
• See a concert
• Learn a language
• Take a class - pottery, art

(If you are in minneapolis and want more specific recommendations, just let me know!)


LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS
On the surface, this may appear to be horrible advice, to lower your expectations, but stay with me for a minute. For ___ years, you have watched the princess be saved by the prince, you have listened to the countless songs telling of the wonders of love and you have read the great stories penned from the hands of writers over time and I think sometimes our heads get puffed up with theses ideas of how love is going to be.


In all my experience with relationships, not that it's extensive, they are rarely graceful, in fact, they are generally awkward and they certainly never live up to the slow motion montages featured in most chick flicks.


My parents separated two years ago and it has made me rethink everything that I thought I knew about marriage. It's not this fluffy fairytale where you decide that you love each other and then everything magically falls into place. Marriage is a commitment, a fight, even a war at times. We have to prepare ourselves for that, to be prepared for confrontation, to put fail-safes in place so that when we falter, we have a net of support.


No, lower your expectations doesn't mean to settle for Mr. Collins just because you are afraid of being alone, it just means understand where you are setting the expectations too high, where you are lost in the thought of the perfect man and the perfect marriage that are fabricated from fictional stories that will never come true.




TRUST GOD'S PLAN
The longer I live, the more I realize how wrong I can be. For instance, if my life had gone according to my plan at 16, I would have been married, working at an awesome Christian radio station that I helped start, driving a Chrysler Sebring convertible, living in Colorado Springs and I would probably have a little baby running around. As it turns out, I am 24, living in a house full of women, driving a Toyota Matrix, working in marketing for a small company that no one has ever really heard of, in fact, most of my friends can't even remember what it's called, spending the weekends taking pictures of other people getting married BUT I am incredibly blessed by the people in my life and I wouldn't trade it for my 16-year-old self's plan anyday. You see, if I had gotten what I wanted, I wouldn't be where I am right now, living in a community of women who challenge me to be better, getting to witness first hand the lives of my best friends.


I know all of you reading this probably don't feel the same way I do right now, maybe you don't have a job or you are living at home or whatever the case may be, and trust me, I have been there, in the place of uncertainty. But I know that each of those places in our lives is there so we can learn something, so we can be better, to prepare us for what is ahead. God knows each of our hearts, he knows what I need to learn and he knows what you need to learn.


Ultimately, these are just the ramblings of a girl who is struggling to figure life out just as much as the rest of you are, but I know there are a few things that I have actually managed to learn along the way. Being a girl isn't easy, there are lots of dangers, pitfalls and black holes that we can fall into in our own minds, but when we truly learn to trust God's plan and take the time to see the reasons why he puts us where we are and made us who we are, I think that is when we can find true joy.